The adults did not mean to diminish a child’s self-esteem or scar him for life. They just wanted to have pleasant conversation. Unfortunately, it was at Joseph’s expense. They were suffering from the ““how cute’’ syndrome: adults making light of kids’ opinions. They can’t effectively put themselves in young people’s shoes. As a result, many do not know how to treat us with respect.
Another nasty symptom of the ““how cute’’ syndrome is making an unnecessary issue of young people’s age. Many magazines and newspapers print a young person’s age after a letter in the reader- response section. This suggests to children that adults don’t care what kids have to say. Adults just think it’s charming that they would write in at all, cute that they have opinions on world issues, adorable that they think of the world past their own backyards. If questioned, the adults would likely say they’re simply recognizing and respecting the fact that a young person took the time to write a letter, an act that deserves notice. But publishing a young person’s age makes it the central issue and deflects from the writer’s point of view.
““How cute’’ is an easy put-down adults use for children. For teens who’ve grown beyond the cute stage, there’s the ““it’s just a phase’’ brushoff. ““It’s just a phase’’ is a belittling and harmful remark, but one that adolescents hear almost every day to dismiss behavior that adults simply don’t (want to) understand. And there are many different ways of saying it. When I got my nose pierced in November, for instance, my parents’ first remark was ““When you decide to take that thing out, will the hole close up?’’ It didn’t occur to them that I might not ever take it out. When I chose to become vegetarian, I heard, ““You’ll give this up as soon as you get hungry for a pepperoni pizza.''
As a young person, I am very excited about the world, my future and the endless possibilities both offer. I want to make a positive difference, live a happy life and be true to myself. In college, I’d like to major in women’s studies and use this knowledge to improve the status of women and girls in our society. I’m saddened by adults who say ““it’s just a phase’’ when I speak of my hopes and dreams. They smile wryly, thinking, ““Just wait, young lady, when you enter the real world you’ll wake up and realize that one person can’t make that much difference.’’ The adults I am drawn to are those who have not completely forgotten their adolescence and its open-mindedness. They believe in me and my abilities, and encourage me to attain my goals.
Adults can learn a lot from young people. Children are born with a clean slate, free from hatred, racism, sexism, homophobia and all of their nasty cousins. Kids cooperate and share, skills requiring attitudes that many nations today seem to be lacking. Maybe the United Nations should watch a few episodes of ““Sesame Street’’ and ““Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood’’ at their next meeting. From teens, adults can learn to renew their radical ideas and activist thoughts lost through life and their experiences. They can learn it is never to late to switch gears. They can learn that stubbornness and conviction are actually admirable qualities when compared with being passive and unquestioning.
Perhaps if kids and teens took over the government, or at least if we had a voice, the quality of life in this country might well begin to improve. Don’t laugh or dismiss this as nonsense. Just think about it.
I know I’m not perfect. As a teen, I have already lost much of the innocence and open-mindedness of my childhood. So, in a sense, I’m already jaded. But I’m determined not to lose sight of my future plans. I’m going to cherish my hopes and dreams, hang on to my enthusiasm and keep my belief in the possibilities life has to offer. I’m determined I’ll not trade in my idealism for a good job, a fat paycheck and a nice house.
Some adults surprise and inspire me. It heartens me when I see them switching gears in middle age, choosing a job or lifestyle that they genuinely enjoy. My mother, for example, decided to return to college when I was 5 to pursue her dream of becoming a physician. Teachers can be a source of motivation, too, especially those who enjoy their career and teach their classes with energy and innovation. Unfortunately, they are few and far between.
Little Joseph made an impact on me that night at dinner because his lively conversation was free of inhibitions. The adults at the party were not so spontaneous, and I realized that I, too, will probably soon be watching my words. Adults can still realize their dreams of adolescence if their present path makes them unhappy. Dreams are important to keep and work on. Grown-ups should make themselves look at young people – and that’s what we are, young people – in a new light. Respect and try to understand us, love and learn from us. As Robert Frost said, ““I go to school to youth to learn the future.''
And by the way, if you’re interested in my age, just leave it to your imagination.
